Manners Matter 15

Manners of Personality

By Ron Ross

“An ugly personality destroys a pretty face.” Does that sound true to you? If so, allow me to introduce you to a few ugly personalities and make sure none describes you!


The arrogant. The arrogant have a need to diminish others in a pitiful attempt to elevate themselves. It is rude to devalue other people just so you can feel superior. Self-confidence is a powerful and attractive personality trait but arrogance is repulsive and a sign of weakness.

The messy. It is true that messy people can be creative and productive, but messiness becomes rude when it affects your fellow-workers, clients, or the people you live with. It is rude to leave your weeks-old Starbucks coffee cups around. Take a minute out of your busy life, throw away those pizza boxes with the dried-out crusts inside and straighten up your work space.

The selfish. One of the first words a child learns is “mine!” If you are still constantly using that word, you have never grown up. A strong sense of self is good but selfishness is on the other side of self-esteem.

The cynic. A cynic has no faith in his fellow humans because he thinks most people are motivated by self interest, ambition, and greed. He thinks everyone else’s opinions are of no value and deserve only ridicule or reprimand. There is, however, a place for cynicism, for serious seekers after truth who want convincing. It is one thing to be a Doubting Thomas, it is something else to neither believe nor trust anyone.

The argumentative. Close to the cynic is the one who has to argue with everyone and dispute every conclusion. They wear you out with perpetual challenges and inane responses to your comments. A good discussion is fun and enlightening but an argument seldom solves anything.

The over-hugger. You may not have heard of this kind of bad manners – that is because I just invented the concept. I like to hug – most of the time. I do not, however, enjoy the unexpected bear hug from a brand new acquaintance. I have also watched some men over-hug women, if you get my drift. It’s rude and maybe immoral.

The pessimist. Some people only see the clouds and never the silver lining; those same people travel alone. No one likes to be with Negative Nelly or Gloomy Gus. The pessimist might think he is exercising wisdom while he is really rendering excuses for never taking a risk while he allows others to design and run the world he lives in.

The lazy. Do you know any slackers? Do you know someone who is on the government dole but should be out there working? I saw this title for a blog the other day: “How to Prepare Yourself Mentally to Overcome Laziness.” What do bet the writer has not had many hits. Let me summarize what he probably said: Pull your own weight – laziness is rude.

There are more manners of personality I am sure, but this list should get you thinking about your personality. How do you view your world, your job, your family, your faith, and most important, how do you view yourself?

Someone said, “Beauty gets the attention. Personality gets the heart.” When it comes to your personality, manners matter!

©2016 Ronald D. Ross

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