The Obituary of Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sureCommon Sense how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

For decades Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn), reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge), widely accepted truths (freedom is better than dependency or slavery), and an understanding of his position in the universe (there is a God and He is love, man is a sinner so grace and forgiveness are necessary).

Early indicators of his demise came when Common Sense could not understand how or why a woman was rewarded a huge settlement only because she failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was actually hot.

Common Sense lost even more ground after society decided that it was legal to kill a baby in the womb using a saline solution but you could not use gas to kill a park full of disease carrying gophers.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when he watched his government and their various agencies put into operation a whole variety of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents harassed teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a child became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense began to loose the will to live when divorce became commonplace, criminals received better treatment than their victims, and preachers stopped calling sinners to repentance,

He took a serious beating when it became against the law to defend yourself from a burglar in your own home but if you did it anyway, the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally succumbed when his countrymen and women discovered they could vote themselves generous gifts from the common treasury and politicians, no longer willing to fight for freedom, justice, and the American way, offered more and more to the clamoring masses just so they could maintain their power.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth First and Always Trust; his wife, Lady of Discretion; his daughter, Be Responsible; and his son, Able To Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because only a few even realized he had ever existed in the first place.

God rest his soul. God help America.

Another version of this Obituary was found circulating on the Internet. I edited it substantially to increase the impact of the message. Dr. Ron Ross. Feedback: [email protected]


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