What Could Possibly Go Right? Don’t Retreat – Reload

May 15, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

growing upWhen you were in the first grade you thought things would be so much better when you got to the seventh grade. Once there, you discovered that life was full of more contradictions and uncertainties than you could have imagined. The opposite sex repulsed you and attracted you at the same time. Talk about confusion! And you couldn’t figure out what happened to your parents. For your entire life they had been so considerate and intelligent – and somewhere between you’re ninth and 13th birthday they became increasingly disagreeable and alarmingly stupid.

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Then you started to imagine how things would really improve if you could just leave home and escape their silly rules and unpleasant criticisms. So you moved out and found a roommate and screamed with delight, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!”

Unfortunately, you soon discovered that you’re over-controlling and humorless parents provided certain benefits that an often repulsive or inconsiderate roommate did not – like milk in the refrigerator, for instance.

Well, you’re old enough now, so I’m going to let you in on a secret: Your parents thought that your idea to move out was a really good idea, even as they tried to talk you out of it. As you brooded and schemed in the privacy of your room, they talked late into the night saying things like, “Wow! When Junior is gone, it will be just you and me once again!” Each of you had the same thought, that life would be much more pleasant when you moved out.

You were both right about the benefits of you moving out, but you were both wrong about something else, that life would be easier. Life is never easy. Both the rich man and the poor man have money problems. Both the married woman and the single woman have trouble with relationships. Each season of life has benefits and each has difficulties. Each season of life is just like the one you experienced in the seventh grade: full of contradictions and uncertainties only without the pimples.

Life is a lot about walking through the pain, enduring the discord and believing that tomorrow will be better than today no matter how bad today is. And trust me; your tomorrows will improve if you improve today. Your tomorrows will be blessed if you will be a blessing today. And the next season of your life will be filled with triumphs and tears, long, wide highways and winding dangerous back roads, sunshine and storms.

It seems to me that life is not about giving up, surrendering to mediocrity or failure. No, life’s not about retreating, it’s about reloading. It’s not about resting on your laurels or living off your dividends or walking away from responsibility. It’s about learning from your mistakes, overcoming obstacles and being ready, willing and able to “take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.”* Don’t retreat, reload.

*PICK YOURSELF UP, From the Film: Swing Time 1936 (Lyrics by: Dorothy Fields / Music by: Jerome Kern) Listen to Frank Sinatra’s version of the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN9zKpO3Qus

What Could Possibly Go Right? Don’t Plan Your Fallback, Plan Your Comeback

May 7, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

George Foreman

You may only know George Foreman as a television pitchman and father of ten children including five boys, all named George: George, Jr., George III, George IV, George V and George VI.

But he is much more than that. He won an Olympic gold medal as a heavyweight boxer in 1969 and ended his amateur career with a 27-0 record. In 1969 he turned pro, had a total of thirteen fights that year and won all but two of them by knockout.

One day previous to a big fight, a sports writer asked Foreman, “You would continue boxing even if you lose?”

Foreman stared into the journalist’s eyes and said, “I beg your pardon?”

The journalist quickly rephrased his question, “You don’t think about losing?”

Forman smiled slyly, wagged his head and said with quiet confidence, “No.” Then he walked away.

He won his first world heavyweight title when he beat Joe Frazier in 1973 before retiring in 1977 at age 28 to enter the Christian ministry.

For most athletes, to win the heavyweight boxing championship of the world by beating Somkin’ Joe Frasier would be sufficient. But after ten years in the ministry, he decided to return to the ring to win a second world heavyweight championship.

In his comeback he had the same intense expectation to win as he did in his younger career. He didn’t think about losing to the much younger Michael Moorer, he planned to win.

In the highly publicized Las Vegas, Nev. fight held on Nov. 5, 1994, Moorer danced around for nine rounds, dodging the clumsy, plodding nearly 46 year-old bald preacher.  Moorer threw punches at the old man but also worked hard to stay out of reach of Foreman’s cocked right hand.

Just before the beginning of the tenth round Foreman’s trainer, Angelo Dundee, told him, “You gotta put this guy down. You’re behind, baby.”

Slow and plodding, Foreman kept marching forward like a clumsy giant into what most thought was a losing battle. But Foreman was just waiting for his opportunity. At 3:44 in the tenth round it came. Suddenly he threw his powerhouse right hand only six short inches directly into the chin of Moorer. Morrer went down on his back for the ten-count, and Foreman went to his knees in prayer.

Foreman had his comeback and was crowned the new WBA and IBF heavyweight champion of the world. This bald-headed, middle-aged TV pitchman and preacher had returned to the ring with what has since been heralded as one of the greatest comebacks in sports history.

Do you need to plan your comeback? Do you need to get back in the ring again? Do you have an unrealized dream that is tugging at your heart? Then don’t spend another day working on your fallback plan, start to plan your comeback.

And if someone asks you what you’re going to do when you go down, look him in the eye with steely confidence and ask quietly, “I beg your pardon?”

What could possibly go right when you plan your comeback? You could end up the heavyweight champion of YOUR world.

What Could Possibly Go Right? Don’t Let Your Failures Break You – Let Them Make You

April 26, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

Before anyone had ever heard of him, Jerry Seinfeld walked on stage at a comedy club, looked out at the audience and froze with fear. He was eventually booed and jeered off the stage.

Have you failed at something really big?  Maybe your business went broke or a marriage failed. Perhaps you took an important test and failed it with flying colors.

When you fail at something, it’s common to hunker down, to disappear from the scene until the shame of you failure fades. You need some time to lick your wounds, clean up the mess, and get over the humiliation of it all.

But once you’ve had your cry, once you’ve bandaged your wounds and forgiven yourself and others, what do you do to get yourself back on your feet and on the road to success?

Here are three suggestions:

Suggestion number one: Reject the label of failure. Just because your business failed or you didn’t pass the test doesn’t make you a failure. Here’s why: because failure is an event, not a person. Do you see the difference between admitting you have failed at something and declaring, “I am a failure?” Failure is something that happens, not something you are. So reject the label of “failure.” Thomas Edison, the world’s greatest inventor, refused to accept that ignominious label. In reference to the many experiments he undertook to invent a workable light bulb filament he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

My second suggestion is: Learn the right lessons from the event. Failure doesn’t happen only to you, it happens to everyone. If you attempt anything significant in life you will experience failure. The difference between people is how they perceive their failures. Do they view them as dead ends or do they see them as learning experiences? Are they stumbling blocks or steppingstones?

I am convinced that far too often we review and relive our mistakes without learning anything from them. Do not rehearse over and over again your failures. Do not wallow in your stupidity or bad luck without ever asking, “What did I learn?”  Your first-class failure may hold the key to your ultimate success. If you don’t learn from your failures, you fail twice.

My third suggestion is: Start over, but start smarter. Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” I don’t care how many bad choices you have made in your life, you are much, much smarter than you give yourself credit for. So take what you’ve learned from your failures and put them to work on your next project, and get started soon. The sooner you move beyond your failures to start work on your future, the sooner you will succeed.

If you’re breathing, if you have a pulse, then you have failed at something and you’ve probably failed often. What could possibly go right when you fail? The possibilities are unlimited if you reject the label of failure, learn the right lessons, and start over, but start smarter.

When you fail, don’t let your failure break you. Let Jerry Seinfeld be your role model and let your failures make you. Let folks know you’re here and you’re smart and you’re ready to go again! And as you do, take comfort in these words by Robert Kennedy, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

What Could Possibly Go Right? Don’t Be Down and Out – Be Up and In

April 13, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

It is claimed that depression affects an estimated 33 to 35 million U.S. adults at some point during their lifetime. The symptoms are numerous: trouble focusing, sadness, irritability, hopelessness, trouble sleeping, weariness, feeling worthless or guilty, major weight change and/or disinterest in favored activities.

This list was adapted from a website of one of those drugs you see advertised every night during your favorite TV show. You know, the one with the sad looking people with bags under their eyes standing with their arms folded gazing off into nowhere. Then and announcer comes on and tells them there’s hope if they just talk to their doctor about AbiliProzCymbilify, or something like that.

My question is: Who here hasn’t suffered episodes of one or more of those symptoms in their lifetime? I don’t see any raised hands.

So I’m thinking that the number of people who really need medication to get out from their depression is much smaller than the number of people actually gulping down those expensive pills for six months or even for a lifetime.

Now, I’m not saying people with serious depression don’t need pharmaceuticals to help them cope; many do. I’m saying that too many people turn to drugs when they should turn to themselves and decide to do something about their own malaise.

Albert Ellis, the American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, said, “You largely constructed your depression, it wasn’t given to you. Therefor you can deconstruct it.” I agree with Dr. Ellis.

Someone else said, “Depression is prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and the cruel jailer.” If that’s the case, then there are a good many people just allowing that cruel jailer to have his or her way.

Several years ago I had a guy working for me whose wife suffered from depression. She went to a therapist and he told her the answer to her problem was to take a walk every day. She did, and pretty soon she was out of her depression. His prescription for her was much more effective than drugs, and the only side effect from her daily walks was a healthier body.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Depression is inertia.” Rollo May said, “Depression is the inability to construct a future.” I say we have tens of millions of people popping Prozac when they should be taking a walk.

There is another possible cure for depression you might consider – forgiveness. Forgive those who have wronged you, no matter how bad the hurt. You know who they are, you know how they hurt you and you know how bad it feels. Until you forgive them, you will live under their control, even if they are dead.

After that, seek forgiveness from others. Go to those you have wronged and ask to be forgiven. It’s easier to do than you think and very satisfying. You will find God Himself to be especially merciful when you humbly seek His forgiveness.

And last, forgive yourself for the stupid things you’ve done – even the really, really stupid things. You are human and humans make mistakes, they even commit unspeakable sins against their God, their mate, their parents, or their children.  Self-condemnation will place you in a prison faster than the gavel of a hanging judge.

What could possibly go right if you decide to no longer live down and out and suffer in depression? You’ll be up and in.

What Could Possibly Go Right? Don’t Pull Back – Push Forward

April 8, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

A big temptation in tough times is to pull back until things get better. In some cases it makes sense. You might have to pull back on some of your spending habits or pull back on the kind of vacations you take. But as an overall strategy for success in the tough times, pulling back is not always the right thing to do.

Tough times always offer opportunities however those opportunities are seized only by a few. Here’s why: most people pull back in tough times; only a few push forward.

Think about it: Even in tough times, products are sold, services are rendered and people spend money. Ever wonder who discovers the products people need and the services they desire, or who finds the people who are spending money?

I can tell you one thing: it’s not the person who is pulling back. It is, however, the person who thinks creatively and actively seeks new opportunities. It is the one who pushes forward.

Here are five ways you can push forward even in the tough times.

Push forward in your relationships. Tough times are dangerous times for relationships – especially marriages. It’s easy to blame your circumstances on the people who really want you to succeed. Push forward in your most important relationships by spending quality time with the people you love the most.

Push forward with your personal growth. How long has it been since you read a book that was written to help you be a better person? What was the last training class you attended to sharpen your skills? At age 68 I attended a writing class at my church taught by a high school teacher who had far less writing experience than I did. I came away from the 3-hour course with the idea for a book which I’m writing at this time.

Push forward with a long-held dream or goal. Perhaps it is time to dust off those dreams you had in college or to reconsider the business idea you had last year.

Push forward with better habits. In tough times it’s quite easy to succumb to bad habits as a way of soothing your painful existence. It is also precisely the wrong thing to do. Push forward with some positive addictions and pull back on the negative ones.

Push forward with better networking. Opportunities come to people who know a lot of people. Why? Because people prefer to do business with people they know, like and trust. If you’re a good, honest plumber but nobody knows it, your phone is not going to ring. Expand your network of business and social relationships and you’ll expand the likelihood of personal success. Join a Meet-up group or some other networking group and get to know as many people as you can. Someone once said, “It’s not how many people you know that is important, it’s how many know you.”

So push forward in your relationships, push forward with your personal growth, push forward with a long-held dream or goal, push forward with some positive addictions, and push forward into an expanded network of business and personal relationships.

If you push forward in all those area, you will have neither the time nor the inclination to pull back. What could possibly go right? Lots of things – when you push forward!

What Could Possibly Go Right?

April 3, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

There’s not a lot of good news these days. The unemployment rate has hit another high, over 70% of people are not happy with the job they have, and millions have lost their jobs with little prospects of getting anything more than part-time work. Gas
prices are going up again, welfare rolls are burgeoning, the education system is broken and the onerous costs of Obamacare has brought business investments to a halt. And that’s just what’s happening in the USA! Do you want me to list all the things that could go wrong in the rest of the world? I didn’t think so.

The list of what could possibly go wrong is endless – and hopeless. To plan what to do when you lose your job is to plan to lose your job. To complain about how bad things are is to miss out on how good things could be. To whine about how bad your past has been is to lose sight of your future.

Some time ago I knew guy who always looked at the dark side of life. He never saw the sunshine – only the clouds. He told me that he had “enough money to run my business for only another three years and then I’ll be broke. Don’t know what I’ll do then!” He had that “if anything can possibly go wrong it will” syndrome. I stopped hanging out with him for fear I too would get the disease.

In these confusing and difficult times, those who outlive the storms to see the sunshine will be those who are looking for the sunshine, not those who are afraid to get wet.

A business friend called me last week to complain about his sales. In his frustration he asked, “How am I supposed to survive when nobody is buying my products?”

I did not have the kind of answer he wanted. He wanted me to tell him to do this and that and then your sales will hit an all-time high and you’ll be the businessman of the year, you’ll pay of all your creditors and cut your mortgage in half! I wish I were that smart.

Here’s what I told him, “Look for the opportunity.” I explained to him that in every down market someone is making money and it’s not the person who is curled up in the fetal position hiding in a closet hoping against hope that somehow the storm will quickly pass by.

Those who prosper in downtimes are those who seek opportunities and look for advantages. They ignore the bad news and ask persistently, “What could possibly go right? Where is the advantage? What is the hidden opportunity?” The point is, you will only get the right answers if you ask the right questions.

Think about it, you don’t even want to know all that could possibly go wrong. It’s too depressing. You want to know what could go right! That’s what’s enlightening, that’s where solutions are found. Not in the nasty negativity of problem-focused thought but in the energizing, spirit lifting, hope inducing, life giving positive search for what could possibly go right.

So, for the next several months in this column I will ask again and again, “What could possibly go right?” You are invited to join the search for the advantage, the hunt for hidden opportunity. Together we will not only weather the storm, we’ll be the ones basking in the sunshine while the faint of heart will still be peeking out of their hiding spaces wondering if it’s finally safe to reappear.

Seven Reasons We Might Open the Doors of Our Lives to Others – Reason 7: To Love

April 1, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

We all watched with embarrassed fascination the life and death of Michael Jackson. It appears he tried everything life had to offer: fame, sex, money, drugs, and two adopted children. Yet he died starved for love, empty, unfulfilled, and surrounded by a bevy of human vultures who never loved him only used him.Love in many languages

But you don’t have to be beautiful, rich or famous to be starved for love. Many people walk around silently screaming, “For God’s sake won’t someone just love me. Love me – that is all I need.”

Hollywood recognizes this sad dilemma so makes sappy movies about love, and millions watch them. Inane songs are written about love, and we sing them. In our search for love we go through a variety of manipulations and machinations to get someone to love us!

Why do we go through all of this? For one simple reason: God placed within each of us a human shaped void that can only be filled by another person. Substitutes such as money, sports, hobbies, fame, busy schedules and even significant achievements cannot come close to filling the void of having someone to love.

If you’re discouraged about love, I’m here to encourage you. Love is possible because all people are born with the capacity to love. But love is not about self it’s about others. Those who only love self are infantile in their emotional maturity. Until a person learns to love others he/she will be hopelessly stranded on his/her own self-indulgent, self-protecting, self-admiring island of aloneness.

So we must open the most private doors of our lives to exit our selfish hiding places to test the waters, expose an aching heart to another person, and become as vulnerable as we have ever been. Writer C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

It is that vulnerability that scares us. We know that if we risk loving someone else that things are going to change, and change is always frightening. Indeed, love is the most powerful agent of change known to mankind. When we love others our priorities are reordered, our values are reassessed, and our relationships restructured.

Love changes the way we look, think, talk, dress, walk, and feel, not just about some special person, but about the whole world. When we love we consider the dreams and happiness of someone else and we willingly seek their happiness before our own. Real love looks not for ways to cage another or keep someone for private use only. Rather, real love looks for opportunities to help others grow and then applauds their success. It sees the best in others, renders aid to those in need, and is always quick to forgive.

If you’re looking for love you must remember this: Those who are loved the most always love others first.

Of all the doors of our lives we must open, the door to our heart affords the greatest opportunity for joy as well as the most likely prospect for sorrow. It is an uncertain emotional investment with no guarantee of return. Yet invest we must, the loneliness of isolation drives us; the desire for intimacy compels us; and the hope of love assures us that somehow all will work out right.

Open your heart to someone today and love them – not for what they can do for you, because of how they perform, or how they look, but because of whom they are. Love someone today and tomorrow and the next day. As you do, that human-shaped void within your heart will begin to be filled, for the more you love the more you shall be loved.

Writer Leo Buscaglia said, “There is nothing greater in life than loving another and being loved in return, for loving is the ultimate of experiences.”

Seven Reasons We Might Open the Doors of Our Lives to Others – Reason 6: To Grow

April 1, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

sThe Irish have a proverb that goes like this, “You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your Grandfather was.” That we might do our own growing it is necessary for us to open several doors of our lives to an unusual variety of people.grow-logo

The first person (besides our mother) that we allow to look at us and touch us in places on our bodies usually kept private is our family doctor. Every orifice is open to his or her inspection, and several personal bodily functions are at times discussed. It goes on for a lifetime, is often invasive, and almost always embarrassing, but it helps us grow.

The next people we allow into our lives to help us grow are teachers. They enter our lives at a very early age. My first recollection of a teacher was Mrs. Purcell, the Sunday School Superintendent at the Christian Church in Julesburg, Colorado. My mother tells me that I was such a naughty boy that Mrs. Purcell kept me out of any class and took me with her on her Superintending rounds. I guess I wasn’t about to let those teachers run my life. I didn’t change much as the years went on and fought almost every intrusion of a teacher into my busy life and schedule, that is, until I went to college and later graduate school. Once there I wished I would have let them teach me something because I found out I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was.

As we grow, and if we like athletics, we will allow coaches to place all sorts of restrictions on us. We let them set our schedules, design our menus, manage our relationships, and even control our bedtimes, all for the sake of becoming better athletes. Many adults move from high school and college coaches to personal trainers to help them manage their menus, establish their exercise regimen, and monitor their physical health.

Most people allow some kind of spiritual advisor to enter their lives to help them find forgiveness, grow close to God, or become a better person. The advisors (pastors, Bible teachers, etc.) are allowed to inquire about how they think, what they do, where they go, how they talk, etc. with the intention of guiding their disciples into a more virtuous and purpose filled life.

Counselors, psychologists, and psychoanalysts are professionals who help people grow away from destructive behavior patterns, caustic relationships, or serious mental problems. They are allowed intimate access into hearts and minds so individuals can sort out traumatic events of the past, understand the pain they feel, come to grips with conflicting emotions, and face reality so they can grow and thrive.

Another group of people some folks allow into their lives are personal success coaches or members of an accountability group. Why? To help them succeed in their marriage, business, or other aspect of their life.

Financial advisers are yet another group of people we allow almost unlimited access into a very personal part of our lives. We’ll tell them how much money we have (or don’t have), how much we earn, how much we save, how much we spend, and what our financial goals are so we can grow financially.

It’s quite a list, isn’t it? You and I open our lives to many different people because we want to be in good physical shape, guilt free, wealthy, better educated, wiser, or mentally healthier! We often pay these people large sums of money to tell us what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and why we need to do it. In most cases we do it willingly and with great hope that by letting others into the secret places of our lives we will get the help we need “to do our own growing.”

The next is the last in this series and you’ll not want to miss it. The seventh reason We MIGHT open the doors of our lives to others is TO LOVE!

Seven Reasons we Might Open the Doors of Our Lives to Others – Reason 5: To Accomplish a Task

April 1, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

Our homeowners association was having problems. Certain board members were Board Meetingcausing difficulties with certain homeowners. The management company was not getting the job done. Work needed to be done on several decks that were almost falling down. The painting schedule had been abandoned. And worst of all, the reserves were at an all-time low.

So a few of us decided to see if we could fix things. We held meetings after work to discuss strategies. We recruited new candidates for board members then sent out mailings to get proxy votes so we could get them elected. At the next Annual Meeting we took over. The stubborn board members were voted out and a new board was seated.

We worked hard, and it took a few years, but the decks were all repaired, the painting schedule was reinstated, a new management company was employed, reserve funds were re-built, and soon all the fussing was stopped and our little village returned to calm.

What did it take? It took a few people who were willing to step out of their comfort zone to solve a problem that affected many. We opened our homes for meetings, we opened our minds for new ideas, we listened to the complaints of people we had never met before and have never seen since. And most of all, we did what was best for the whole, not just a few.

You can’t help hurting people or solve problems bigger than you are without stepping outside of your comfort zone; without opening your heart and your life to others.

People who decide to run for public office certainly must be willing to be open with strangers. We’re seeing it right now as the gates are opened and the race is on for the next presidential election. Already candidates’ lives, homes, words, deeds, and even spousal health are scrutinized by the media and especially by the opposition.

Everybody is watching them. Some guy with a cell phone camera can catch a candidate speaking embarrassing words and suddenly a few million people watch and listen on YouTube. Even candidates for school boards and city councils can find their lives turned upside down because of snoopy opposition research or prying news reporters.

And still people open their lives to help hurting people and to solve problems. A bunch of people from our church are going on a short term missions trip to work in an African orphanage for the children of AIDS victims. They are spending their own money taking their own time leaving behind their family and loved ones for a 30 day mission of mercy to people they have never met.

Service clubs such as Kiwanis, Rotary, Optimists, etc. give blood, sweat and tears to solve social problems, build parks, send needy kids to college, help the blind, and much more.

And yet most people are not willing to open their lives for the benefit of others. We’re just too selfish, or too private, or too secretive to allow anyone or anything into our schedule that does not directly benefit our family or our business. Besides that we don’t want to bother with the maze of inter-relational complexities that become a part of any group effort. It’s a whole lot easier to let someone else do it.

“It’s not my problem” is the self-centered refrain of the uninvolved. In the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC there is this inscription: “Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.”

Most of us will never do anything of great significance to help our hurting world, but all of us can do a little something every day to make our world a better place to live.

Seven Reasons We MIGHT Open The Doors of Our Lives To Others – Reason #4: To Work

March 16, 2013 Kick in the Pants No comments

I’m showing my age here, but there is an old country song performed by the late Tennessee Ernie Ford titled “Sixteen Tons.” The song is about a miserable coal miner who could never seem to get ahead no matter how much Number 9 coal he could haul out of the mine.

The chorus went like this:

“You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don’t you call me cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store.”

We could update that song now and call it “Sixteen Hours”. For many, it seems that no matter how hard or how long we work we still end up owing our soul to the company we work for or the profession we have chosen.

Now with iPhones, Droids, email, and Internet networks we can extend our work to every moment of our lives no matter where we may be. Last week I called a client and she answered her phone in Orlando. She said she couldn’t talk for long because she was in line for the Jungle Cruise at Disney World and was about to board.

Well excuse me! Why did she even answer the phone? Wasn’t she on vacation? Yes she was but she thought I might be one of her clients and she didn’t want to miss the chance for more business!

Been to a little league ball game lately or to the waiting room for a dance class? Look around and you’ll see moms and dads on their SmartPhones swiping their finger back and forth, checking email, making business calls and surfing the web while allegedly watching their kids play baseball!

More than anything or anyone else, we allow our business to invade our lives. No one in our family is as important as our clients, our vendors, our co-workers, our managers/bosses/employers, and even our competitors. We allow them to interrupt family meals, steal us away from family gatherings, schedule us in other cities on important anniversaries, and compel us to come in to work early and stay late.

There’s no question that we live and work in a highly competitive world, and that company loyalty is good, but the way we let our profession/job/company control our schedule, steal our time, and invade our family leaves us exhausted and befuddled.

So we willingly work long days at the office, spend isolated hours in airports, and put our company or profession before our mate and children. Then, at the end of our “16 Hours” whada we get? Another day older and deeper in debt and farther removed from the really important people in our lives – our wives/husbands/children/parents/friends.

But what else are we supposed to do? How do we tell our boss “NO” or our client “my kid’s playing soccer” or our project manager “I can’t, it’s our wedding anniversary!”

Of all the reasons we allow people into our lives, perhaps this is the area over which we feel the least control. We think our job or profession is more important than anything or anybody on earth. We believe that it cannot function without us; that the whole thing depends on our personal presence. Either that or we’re scared to death that it can function really quite well without us and we don’t want anyone to find out!

We end up running as fast as we can chasing the wind and never catching anything much more than a little more stress for today than we had yesterday.

If I’ve described you, it’s time to stop letting everyone else run your life. Find out who and what are truly important to you; then give them the best that you have to offer.

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